While
delighted that the formerly silent two-year-old Jamie* felt secure enough to
speak, sometimes her chatter grated on my last nerve. “Mama Da, when will Gamma
get here?”
“They’re
coming to have lunch with us today, Sweetie, so I reckon around Noon.” I didn’t
stop clearing the breakfast table as I responded to the excited little girl.
“Will
Gamma-Gamma dwive duh twuck?” How the kids loved to ride in the back
of Dad’s pickup. “Jamie wuv da twuck!”
“Yes,
Grandpa will drive the truck,” I said, wondering if Jamie would ever get the
distinction between the grandparents’ names. It didn’t really matter since Dad knew she
meant him. “Honey, I’m trying to get the breakfast dishes cleaned up so we’ll
be ready when Grandma and Grandpa get here. Can you go play with Deni*, please?”
I
glanced down in time to see the black curls nod up and down. “Will Gamma-Gamma
let Jamie wide in da twuck?” The
youngster clung to my side, as she talked and I moved.
“Jamie.
I asked you to, please, go play with
Deni. I’m trying to finish up here in the kitchen,
and I’m afraid I’m going to trip over you. Please.” I fought to keep calm when
uttering the last word.
Noticing
Jamie turn for the kitchen doorway, I breathed a sigh of relief. I relaxed my
jaw, not realizing I’d been clenching my teeth. Not getting enough sleep at
night, definitely, influenced my daytime
tolerance for the flow of questions streaming from the pint-size chatterbox.
Fortunately,
baby Susie* hadn’t awakened yet. I prayed God would help the teething infant
have a better day than she had night. Mom and Dad drove 192 miles--one-way--for
these monthly Wednesday lunches. I so wanted the time with the kids to be
pleasurable.
Before
I’d finished drying the dishes, the tiny ebony beauty tugged at my shirttails.
“What will Gamma bwing for lunch?
“She
didn’t tell me, Jamie. It’s a surprise for all of us. Where’s Deni? I asked you
to play with her, didn’t I?” I lifted the stack of plates and slid them onto
the shelf.
“Yeah
and I did. Now, I’m here wiff you.”
Jamie’s smile dropped as soon as she noticed my face.
Kneeling
down, I said, “Sweetie, I have a lot to do before Grandma and Grandpa get here.
I’m trying to do as much as I can before Susie wakes up. I asked you to go
play. If you don’t want to play with Deni, then ple-e-ease
just take one of your books and look at the pictures. Please go in the living
room.” I smiled and gave her a hug. I relaxed a bit as Jamie returned the smile
and squeeze.
I
felt like the ever-ready bunny racing around the kitchen. Finally, I’d
completed the mopping of the floor. Just in time, too. Placing the mop and
bucket in the closet, I heard Susie’s come-and-get-me scream.
After
grabbing a quick swallow of water from a glass by the kitchen sink, I hurried
into the bedroom. “Mornin’ Sunshine! How
ya doin’? Feelin’
better, you little robber of sleep?” The infant giggled along with me as I
tickled her.
“Mornin’ Baby!” said the little voice at the
foot of the crib. “Gamma and Gamma-Gamma’s comin’
today. We’s
all so happy, wight Mama Da?”
“That’s
right, Jamie,” I said as I lifted Susie out and headed for the changing table.
“Now, it’s time to get Susie ready for the day. The little girl moved in front
of me, but I hadn’t noticed the change in her position. I stumbled with Susie
in my arms. Fortunately, I righted myself before dropping Susie.“Jamie!” Get control of yourself, I thought. She’s just excited; she doesn’t mean to disobey you.
“Jamie,
do you remember what I asked you to do?” I said forcing my voice to a whisper
as I changed Susie’s diaper. Seeing the little head bobbing up and down, I
continued, “What did I ask you to do?”
“Go play wiff
Deni. Den, Jamie read her books.” The
child looked straight into my eyes before
lowering her gaze.
“Would
you, please ask Deni to come here?” Before I made it to the end of the
sentence, the little whirlwind whipped around and left the room.
As
soon as Deni appeared, I explained my need for her to occupy Jamie so I could
feed the baby and finish the other things I needed to do before Mom and Dad
arrived.
Following
a frustrated “humph!” Deni let out a deep sigh. “Dontcha know I tried to ‘xplain to her to leave ya alone. She just won’t!”
The four-year-old’s shoulders lifted and dropped; the little red-haired cutie stared
at the floor. How dramatic!
Struggling
not to burst out laughing at Deni’s theatrics, I offered a suggestion. “Okay,
Jamie, how about you color a picture for your grandparents. That’ll give you
something to do while you wait.”
At
first, the energetic little maiden complied. However, when not one-quarter of
the page had been done before Jamie’s
little questions interrupted me again, I took the most drastic measure. “In the
corner, Jamie. I’ve asked you over and over. Deni has tried to help you
understand—even helping you find your crayons, didn’t she?”
The
two-year-old nodded and headed for the corner of the bedroom. “I stay here ‘til
Mama Da come get me?”
“Yes,”
I said to her little back.
Experiencing
only fatigue and irritation, I didn’t even hug
the tiny shoulders as had always been my practice. I just wanted to be done
with the work before I heard the pick-up on the gravel next to the house.
That’s all I could think of at that point.
Finally,
all had been made ready and just in time. The sound of the pick-up’s engine
reached my ears at the exact moment I realized I’d not seen Jamie for a while.
Sure
enough; Jamie stood in the corner, shifting from one tired, little leg to the
other as she traced the bumps and dips in the painted bedroom wall. She’d not
even sat down for nearly two hours.
I
rushed to the corner, swooped Jamie up in my arms and sat on her bunk. “Oh, my
dear Princess. Mama Dar’s sooo sorry that
you had to stand here so long. Please, Sweetheart, forgive me. I got so busy
that I forgot to set the timer. I’m so very sorry.” I squeezed the small child,
forcing myself to hold back the tears. The sound outside the window signaled
that my parents had just stepped onto the back porch.
The
precious little girl took my face in her hands, patting my right cheek. “Jamie forgib Mama Da.” Then she pulled my head down
and planted a kiss on the cheek she’d been patting.
“It okay. It okay, Mama Da.”
I
held her and rocked back and forth…until Jamie pulled free of my grasp. “Gotta go.
Gamma and Gamma-gamma here! K?”
“You
bet, Honey. I’m right behind you.”
Jamie’s
love and ready forgiveness eased my guilt some, but I still swallowed hard over
what I’d done—or neglected to do. In my anxiety over proving to my mother that
I, too, could keep a clean house as the mother of three, I’d completely
overlooked the most important aspect of parenting.
What
did it matter if not a speck of dirt could be
found if the spirit of a tender, young
heart had
been
crushed? Gratitude filled my soul as I realized that the experience had hurt me
more than Jamie.
It
also served as a real wake-up call for me; things needed to change. Next time,
my pride may hurt one of the kids.
Mom and Dad came to love on the children,
not to criticize my housekeeping abilities. Setting proper priorities moved to
the top of my daily prayer list.
*Name changed.
The
thread of the foster children story began with With Just One Phone Call
I am enjoying the stories of these three-little-sisters...
ReplyDeleteSurvivors who were showered with your tender-loving-care!
Pam
Thank you. I am glad that you are enjoying this memorable part of my life's journey. I learned so much from these kids. True survivors.
Delete