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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Early Changes in Relationships

     In reviewing the archives of my first decade of life, I can see that the memories that evoke the deepest emotions are those involving relationships and change. The first such lesson came when I was only four years old. My six-year-old sister, inevitably, had to start elementary school; thereby, depriving me of my greatest peer support and teacher. She had been in my life since it first began and this was quite a huge change for me. Funny how the addition of my younger sister just the previous year had not caused me to think of a “change” in our family; while the daytime loss of my older sister was a trauma.

     If you missed this story, you can read it in Life 101: Change

     The closest non-sibling friend I had in those early growing up years was Butchy. He was a year younger than I but had the very same interests and love of the outdoors. We were always together and “adventure” was a regular part of any day! If you missed them the first time around, you can read a couple of these by clicking on the following:

    
     For children many of their changes in life come as a result of changes for their parents. The first major change caused by parental employment issues came for Butchy and me soon after the passing of one decade into the next. It was so painful and, yet, God had really orchestrated the timing of this change of best friends in my young life. I was changing and did not even know it! I needed to develop friendships with girls as I passed into the rocky road of pre-adolescent years. My relationship with Butchy could be categorized as “gender neutral”, I think, because neither of us saw the other one as different. If you missed the episode of our parting, start of new “best friend”, and the reunion with Butchy, you can pick them up by clicking on any of the following links:
    
     This is the news of Butchy’s family moving and the start of new “best friend” relationships.

     Scene 1 in this series marked the change from little girl beds to bunkbeds, followed by Scene 2…the family’s move to another house/neighborhood.
   
     Butchy?   The reunion day with Butchy.

     I would live in this second of our family homes until the move to a university dormitory. However, there were a few changes in “best friends” in keeping with changes in interests. Some of these changes were a natural progression and others quite painful. I wish I could say that I was never the one to bring any of the pain; but, alas, this is not the case. While I suffered the pain of some changes, others I initiated and that did cause pain to a really good friend for which I will always be sorry. The way of adolescence is to think of one’s own interests before another’s and I was no exception to that rule. I rejoice that growing up did change that about me!
     Next week I will plunge into stories from those ‘Tween and Teen Years. There are many accounts from this second decade that cannot be told publically because of the hurt it might bring to others. As adolescents we just take so much for granted and plow through the lives of our friends as though they were chunks of dirt instead of fragile lives of developing people. It is a wonder how any of us emerge with our inner being intact!

****How did changes in early friendships affect you?

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