It was a long day for the seven-year-old who was so used to sharing every discovery with her heavenly Father. To see the new flower emerge from the bud that I had watched for a few days would have normally caused me to point out its beauty to the Lord but not today. I noticed it and opened my mouth to speak but stopped just in time. I was NOT speaking to Him today. The lilac bush by the sidewalk had some new bugs that were so unusual in coloring and shape that I picked one up and began to ask the Lord about it. Then I halted in mid-sentence and clamped my jaws shut… not today. I was NOT speaking to Him. In the afternoon one of my little neighborhood friends dropped by and was so sad for some reason I cannot recall just now. We played a little bit but he was just not in the mood. As he got up from the ground where we had been checking out how the blades of grass rubbed just right could make a squeaking noise, I started to open my mouth to ask God to help him feel better but stopped before I could get one word into the air. Nope, I was NOT going to ask for His help today.
When mealtime came along, I was not thankful for a single bite I ate either! THAT should bother God, for sure. I mean everyone always thanked God for the food they were about to eat, didn't they? Well, not me! Not until there was a blue bike by that tree!
By early evening the sad reality had sunk deep into my seven-year-old heart… there would be no bike until my birthday next year. God was not going to put one by the tree. However, by this point in the day, I didn't really care about the blue bike. I was so miserable. I had spent so much of the day without ever speaking to God and I was incredibly empty. I felt like I had lost my best Friend. Oh, there were lots of friends in the neighborhood and I had played with them today but it was just not the same. I needed to talk to God. But, I had ruined it. I had told Him I would NOT speak to Him ever again. Was He missing me, too? Did I hurt His feelings with my selfish attitude? I mean, I did not NEED the bike this year; I just wanted it. But that attitude had cost me the communication with Someone who was always there. He was never too busy to talk with me. He never needed to ask anyone permission to come over to talk with me. He never minded stopping whatever He was doing to listen to me. He never thought what I said was dumb. And, I had just blown it! I had cut Him off from me. I cannot even begin to describe the weight of that burden in my young heart but, suffice it to say, now fifty-five years later, I remember the feeling as though it had just happened to me!
…check in tomorrow (hopefully) for a few closing remarks